Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
