let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
