We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize