aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
