The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
