I need to stop coming to work sober
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We talked him into tasing himself.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
