i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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