I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
