State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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