There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
