Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
