grandma shit on top of the toilet
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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