Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
