why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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