We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
