wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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