If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
