I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Operation Purity has been aborted
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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