i may or may not be watching the land before time
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
