how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
