someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize