I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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