That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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