i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
