K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize