FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i've created a new STD.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
