How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
