Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
