Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
