i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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