I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
