Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
