You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize