Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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