is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
