So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
