I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize