Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
