Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
