I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
