do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
