Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
