I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
