So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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