I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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