dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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