): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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