Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
