Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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