i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
how does that bad decision feel?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
