he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
