This girl is more easily done than said...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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