He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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