Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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