I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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